Black woman can be big and still look good White woman can be big and not even cook good

I put my chihuahua in a penis pump Now I have a dachshund

Obesity is the next step of evolution

I sleep with a Pac-Man Blanket
I'm afraid of paranormal activity and Pac-Man eats ghosts

Jesus wasn’t white, or black.
If he were alive today he would be Taliban

It’s less inappropriate to use racial slurs towards Jews rather than Blacks,
Because Jews can’t fight

If you think it will, it will. Unless it doesn’t
Then you’re just fucked

We would have so much in common
If you were different

Stevie Wonder Bread

My brother has a mustache, he says woman say they like it
You know what else woman like?… Gay Men

Just because you’re on steroids and have dread locks
You are not a barbarian

Alfredo Sauce makes my cat fart

I named my penis Reno
It’s The Biggest Little Penis in The World

The only thing marijuana has caused me to do
Is run out of marijuana

Happiness is like religion.
Feels good to the beholder, but annoys everyone else around them

She asked me If I’m just using her for sex
I said “Well, Not anymore. Now I’m just using you for a ride home.”

I have been living with depression
Her name is Jessica

You drive drunk and think you’re going 30 your going 50
You drive high and think you’re going 30… You’re parked

I don’t need a glow in the dark condom
My dick can’t see